Blog, page 4

This blog is a dumping ground for all my thoughts. It mostly seems to be about my personal life. In such posts, I stay as close to the truth as possiblei, but things like names or locations have been made fuzzy to protect the anonymity of other people involved.

A Dream You Can't Wake Up From

2018-07-12 06:57:52 +0000

The day was hot, sticky, and so we were as we ran down the street in an attempt to outflank the riot police. We were a small group, maybe only twenty, but we were moving fast, and in our nimbleness we could out maneuver them. I was close to the front, medkit strapped tight to my back, ready to be the healer for the violence that was sure to come. I, off to the side, marked up as a medic, was hopeful, confident that my uniform would deter the ire of the state enough that I could do my job.

Important vs. Useful

2018-06-12 08:53:17 +0000

Maybe it’s apparent from previous posts, my Twitter feed, or the things I’ve said in private, but I have many concerns about how the left move–or fails to move–toward its goals. This isn’t a debate about what these goals should be or even what tactics should be used, but the mindset leftists as individuals have and general trends among groups.

Shipping Reliable Migrations for SecureDrop with Alembic

2018-06-11 09:42:19 +0000

SecureDrop is a free, open source whistleblowing platform that is maintained by the Freedom of the Press Foundation and a community of volunteers. SecureDrop is deployed via a one time installation on bare metal severs via Ansible, and continuous updates are applied via releases from the FPF apt repo and cron-apt.

May Day Debrief

2018-05-02 07:43:44 +0000

After last year’s May Day adventures, and with comrades in tow this year, I had high hopes for the kind of fun we might get up to.

The morning was uneventful, spent mostly trying to fix a VPN issue in Qubes. Some comrades wanted to walk around the May Day party, but having done that enough times, I wasn’t interested. I needed to get some work done, and I wanted to be fresh for the presumed clashes with the cops.

To Burn Away An Emotion

2018-03-28 23:46:58 +0000

One of the main topics that is discussed in non-monogamy is jealousy, and how we unlearn it or learn to deal with it in a healthy way. This removal or management of the feeling is usually described as a long, careful process between partners working together toward a common goal of non-monogamy. I was never in such a position, one where I needed to actually get over whatever amount of jealously I felt. Either the relationships were casual enough that I wasn’t concerned about what my partners were up to or they were closed enough that I wasn’t confronted with my own jealousy enough to have to learn to deal with it.

Spy Cars

2018-03-26 08:59:19 +0000

Note: This was written in December for a publication that never got around to actually posting it.

We begin with two stories.


Sage is a freedom fighter. Sage used to attend CryptoParties, but now they run them. Sage and their comrades are accountabilibuddies who help each other maintain good operational security. Sage knows when to leave their phone at home, how to dress on their way to demos, and how to hide in plain sight when leaving. Because Sage and their comrades take such care in their actions, they have never been arrested despite being tied–tenuously or otherwise–to a number of illegal activities and events.

Lucía Revisited

2018-03-20 20:29:15 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about about my excitement and captivation with the stranger Lucía. She came out of the internet in a bit of a flurry, catching me off guard with her charm and enthusiasm. We’d talked for a few weeks, first over email, then over Signal. She seemed to be Something Else, something intriguing, and so far I could tell, we might have been able to “get” each other given time and favorable circumstances.

On My Gender

2018-03-13 08:44:51 +0000

A little over a year ago I wrote a post about how I think the word queer applies to me. This wasn’t some sort of earth shattering revelation for me, nor was it something I “came out as.” Aside from penning some of my thoughts, I didn’t tell anyone, only responded with an abridged version when asked about my sexuality.

To Be Captivated By An Image

2018-03-05 09:25:05 +0000

She was a new face from the internet, someone who came from the space, that invisible web that exists all around us, that connects us, that is ethereal but often so much more tangible than the physical world we reside it.

We Suck At Consent

2018-01-18 16:48:37 +0000

In light of the article about Aziz Ansari and his apparent lack of respect of boundaries, I started talking to a lot of my friends about consent in sex and dating, and about consent in general. One of the pieces of the article a lot of people seemed to get worked up about was the fact that the article mentioned that Mr. Ansari didn't ask what kind of wine Grace wanted and ordered her white wine. This was claimed to be unnecessary on the grounds that it was just being used paint him as a bad person because how could he have known she didn't like white wine?